More Rambling…

Just read my last post and am grateful for answered prayers: Vanessa and Mike have Ari, my niece is healthy, my brother is doing well.  Thank you God!

 

These past months have been a few of growing and learning, in so many areas.  Renewed friendships from long ago have been so rewarding and fun.  A recent class reunion has spurred this on.   My plan is to continue and grow these into lasting and frequent events.  New friendships have happened at just the right time as well.   God really does work it out when I let him!   My dad’s cancer diagnosis really made me think seriously about quality lives and connections; it has been worth it.  My investment of time and energy has changed in many ways.

My daughters have grown so much.  I see them making a difference in others and learning from the experience themselves.   I see them react in mature, thoughtful ways, just when it was needed.   They will always be little girls to me, but now they’re also women.  Sometimes they say things that surprise me because it sounds like something I would say!  That part is a little scary!  I have a few friends mourning their estranged children and their situations have made me love and appreciate mine even more.  My prayer for my friends’ families  continues.

My dad’s illness and death has unearthed so many feelings, wounds, and lack of control ( which is so difficult that I can’t fix it all!).   Not everyone reacted the way I wanted them to and not everything went as I had scripted it in my head.  I’ve learned so much from what I can’t control and have hated every minute of it. My sweet stepmother is better, day by day, and I have given up on some things that just do not matter.  If felt good to visit and laugh with her yesterday instead of focusing on tasks needed.  The butterflies in my stomach have almost completely stopped and I caught myself laughing again.  Dad would be proud. 

I have always believed that most depression and worry is caused from too much self-focus; I still believe that.  It helps to put your energy into something or someone worthwhile and this has proven to be true.  We tried to teach our children that and I see it working in their lives.

Divorce seems to have hit my age big time.  I have several friends recently divorced or in the middle of the battle. Why?  Are we afraid of age, tired of commitment, worried about what we missed?  This is such a good time of life, what a shame.  I want them to have what I have. 

Students with different learning styles have been challenging for me this year and I am a better teacher because of them.   The need to adjust and readjust has caused some extra creativity and thought and I’m grateful.  I’m reading a book on disconnected kids and find the information on the brain fascinating. 

We are taking a long, overdue family vacation this year!  We are all going to Gulf Shores-not far from Evyn and Ryan’s place- for a week.  Hooray!!!  I’m taking a good book (kindle) and plan on eating seafood everyday!  Maybe a few steaks thrown in, too.  I’m looking forward to unhurried time with the kids and grandsons. 

Lastly, I’m so impressed with people who work hard to change their lives; it’s not easy.  A few I know are doing this and I’m so proud of them.  This time of disequilibrium has been so good for me, not fun, but good for growth.   I am the same on the outside but not on the inside, I’m better.  I feel hungry for God and know He has missed me. 

 

Rambling on and on….

This has been a very different summer.  My dad’s illness and extended family complications really threw me off  my game.  I’m such a control freak that situations out of my control make me crazy.  I’m learning.  I continually turn it over to God and continually take it back.  I’m learning.   The seriousness of the situation has made me evaluate so much in my life and face some facts about myself.   God has definitely used the situation.   I have some friends I am so so grateful for and their love and their prayers continue to lift me.  I feel I’ve learned alot about my friends, I don’t think I realized how dependent upon their support I am.     I hope my daughters can learn from my bad example as well as my good example, because I’ve definitely shown both.  I want to be perfect for them but I think I’m finally learning that God is okay with just trying, and I need to be okay with that as well, not just in me but in others.  This has been a summer of too many tears, it’s time to regain some joy.   This summer has changed me, just when you think you can’t change!

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Now, on a lighter note, my little grandson is starting kindergarten, no way!!!    He will do great but I know how my daughter feels.   When she went to kindergarten I sobbed at the bus stop.  Yes, other parents ( there were only 2 because normal people don’t go stand with their child at the bus stop) were rejoicing.  I was traumatized.  I can see her little dress, shoes, and hair barrette just thinking about it.  She had an adorable backpark, of course.  Anyway, I put her on the bus, told the driver to be careful, and cried.  Then I realized what if she didn’t know what to do when she got off and no one helped her?  I immediately jumped in my car and followed the bus to school, just to make sure she could find her room.  Man, how did this girl survive without me?  I was homeroom mom for both daughters every year, because of course they needed my help.  Are you seeing a control pattern here?   Can you imagine what these teachers were saying behind my back??  So yes, I know how my daughter feels.  Hope she handles it better than I did because she, oops, I mean he, will do great.

I’ve connected with some old friends on facebook and it’s been so great.  It is so fun to see their families, especially grandchildren.  We have a class reunion  this fall and I’m excited.  They look so young!   I wish airbrushing worked in person.

I’m doing a Star Wars unit this year that I am very excited about.  Also, we are going to put on a play!  I really think it’s going to be a great school year.   School starts on Monday, at least for the teachers.  I am so ready.  My research has inspired me to try some new ideas and projects; I’m so glad teachers share their ideas because I love stealing them.  My work is such a blessing, and my boss brings me Starbucks!

This is what I want, I want my brother to be wonderful, my niece to remain healthy, my dad to live longer than my stepmom (I know this sounds bad but she needs him), and I want Kaleb to get well and I want Vanessa and Mike to get a baby.  I know I don’t always get what I want but I’m still going to want this anyway and will continue to pray these requests.

 

Parenting-it’s forever

A big thank you for all the prayers for my dad, we felt them.   For those of you that don’t know, Dad had pneumonia about a 6 weeks ago.  On his chest x-ray for his recheck, the Dr. found some spots and assumed they were due to the pneumonia.  They checked again after 3 weeks and the spots were still there.  Following a biopsy, we were told they were malignant.  They proceded with an MRI and found cancer in his spine, stage 4.  It seems like Dad went from feeling healthy one day to stage 4 cancer.  We would have never known had it not been for the pneumonia.  He looks good and feels great, exercises 3 or 4 times a week and has no symptoms.   I felt like my world was turned upside down.  My expectations were that my dad would live forever, or at least to 120 or so.  I hate cancer.  My dad called and cried, wanting my brother and me to promise to take care of Pat, my stepmom.   So many thoughts, so many tears.

After I pulled myself together, I did some research and spoke to many friends dealing with aging parents.   I have been full of advice for them, until now.  There are so many things in life that can’t be explained, just experienced.  Childbirth, parenting, marriage, death of a loved one, etc.   This is one of them.  Everyone’s experiences are so different.    I went through every scenario in my mind, over and over.  Mom could live here, how boring.  She would be home alone each day while I worked  and can’t drive in Tulsa.  She could stay in her house, no, I’m afraid for her to be alone.  She could live in independent living facility or maybe with her sister.   My next step was to visit the facilities to see what my options were.   I have to admit, I was impressed.

Anyway, yesterday we had our visit with the oncologist and left there feeling so hopeful.  He confirmed that it can’t be healed but Dad’s survival could be extended.   He has a brain scan tomorrow and more tests over the next two weeks.  Dad begins chemo (either pill or IV) in two weeks.   I almost asked the Dr. about the side effects of each and decided I didn’t want to ruin the hopeful moment.  We will deal with that when we need to.  Dad was satisfied and hopeful.  He said if it buys him a few more years then he is satisfied.  Mom was relieved and felt he wasn’t  going anywhere soon.  I cried.  I was glad the Dr. didn’t say go home and enjoy the last few months of your life and sad that I was in the oncologist’s office with my dad.   My role has changed.  My hope is I can be there for him and for her in whatever capacity they need for me to be in.  I’ve seen this happen to many friends, now I understand.

My conversations with my dad during this time have so impressed me.  He told me his life with Pat has been the best 45 years anyone could ask for.  He is full of faith and has been a witness to his friends on his acceptance of this.   Mom has handled all this so well, they are so concerned for each other.   Their love and marriage have been an example for many.

Please continue to pray for strength and understanding in this part of our lives.  My high school friends called Dad “Captain Roy”.   I hadn’t heard that term in a long time and it brought a smile.  Thank you.   I still can’t seem to come to grips with the fact he isn’t going to live forever, but he also isn’t dying today or tomorrow.   I’m grateful for that.

Now for the funny part of the whole saga.  Anyway who knows my dad knows he is a big (BIG) talker.    We are at the cancer center filling out 12 pages of papers before we meet with the doctor.   Dad is saying ( in a loud voice) for mom just to put down anything on those lines, they never read that stuff.   Don’t worry about it, just fill in anything!  Many times.  Finally they finish and he takes it to the nurse at the front desk.  He tells her, “On any of those blanks I left, just fill in with whatever you want.  No one reads this stuff anyway.  Also,  if you see anything there you don’t like, just white it out.  I don’t care!” OMG, of course everyone in the waiting room is looking at us like we are from Bizzarro World !  This conversation goes on and on.  The poor nurse.  Then, after we see the doctor, we are in the waiting room again because the nurse has to schedule all these other tests, including a brain scan.  Dad starts in, “They think they’re doing a brain scan on me! Ha!!  They better have a powerful machine if they think they’re going to find my brain.  Good luck with that!!!”  Many, many times.    The nurse asks if he is claustorphobic (spelling?).   He of course isn’t but my aunt is.  Dad goes on and on and on how you have to get in this machine, you can’t move your arms or your head, you have to lie really still, etc. etc.  My aunt is freaking out.  The entire waiting room is looking at us with bewilderment.   Then my aunt hollers to the nurse ( all of these conversations are done long distance, no one ever gets up and goes to the nurse’s desk), “Be sure and do not schedule these appointments on Tuesdays.  Pat and I go shopping and lunch on Tuesdays and we don’t want his medical stuff to interfere with that!”    Of course, Mom, Dad, and my aunt are laughing their heads off.   Seriously, I thought we were going to get kicked out of the cancer center.  The first people ever kicked out of the cancer center.    It’s always an experience.

My cousins are like sisters to me.  One of them said, “It’s just an adjustment to a new reality.”   So true.  Anyway, I’m going to enjoy him while I can.
On another topic, kind of, I am so grateful for good parenting.  I absolutely love seeing parents that care more about their children than they do about themselves.  This is your legacy, this is your gift to the world to help make it better.   Please do it right, or at least try.   I honestly comment to parents I see that are giving it their best.   It is such a consuming, never ending, exhausting  job, but the reward is a fully functioning, contributing individual that passes this on.  It refreshes me to see it happen.   I’ve started looking for good parenting examples to compliment, please do the same.

“It’s not the load that brings you down, it’s the way you carry it.”

 

Random

I don’t believe people when they say they have no regrets.  How can you not have regrets?  Anyway, I sort of regret not moving to a small town.  I grew up in a small community and have returned several times lately for various reasons.  When I returned I visited the small pharmacy on mainstreet and felt like I had gone back in time! Loved it.  The little lady talked to me like she has been seeing me every day. I talk to everyone so this was perfect!   The next visit to town I shopped at the local hardware store, wow!  This place is awesome.  The aisles are so crowded with everything that you have to walk sideways sometimes.  They have seeds (which is why I was there, which is another midlife thing!) for vegetables and they only sell local ones ( “None of these seeds are from China, lady!  All these seeds are harvested locally so we know they grow in this area!”)  These two stores have everything, you could do your Christmas shopping there.   The people were so friendly and everyone knew each other.  The hardware store had free popcorn!  People came in just for the popcorn!  It was so much fun.  The whole experience made me look back.  And by the way, if you have never been in an old time pharmacy and old time hardware store you really need to go.  Dewey is the place.

It’s funny, I remember all the reasons I couldn’t wait to get out of that town; those are all the reasons I long to go back!  It’s a midlife thing.  The comfort of everyone knowing everyone and their cousin is comforting now, annoying then.  The shops are all local and variety is limited, I love that now and hated it then.   Someone even recognized me, which was alittle surreal.   A  high school friend lives across the street from my aunt and helps her out some, I love that.   Another aunt and uncle are in a nursing home there and one  of the aides is a friend of my cousin.  We took a walk (ride) down memory lane and drove passed some friends’ houses and the school.   Which, by the way, an old (time not age!) friend’s husband is the assistant principal.

Anyway, the whole experience has been very touching to my heart. I think I need to live in a small house with a small garden in a small town (sounds alittle nursery rhymish).    I may have a small town in my future!  If I could only get my daughters and their families to move as well.  Also, I love my job and need to live close enough for it.  Hmmm, Skiatook, Ooolagah, Collinsville, Claremore, none sound as good as Dewey.

I’m about to embark on a new adventure.  My job now is only mornings and I love middle schoolers, which most people think is crazy.  There’s something about them- the struggle to figure out who they are, the awkwardness, the need to be accepted, this is just such a difficult and awkward age but they are so loveable.   In spite of that, I decided to try my hand at college.  I’m teaching an Interpersonal Communications class in the afternoons starting Monday at TCC-yikes!  It’s a fast track class so it’s only for one month, 4 afternoons a week.  This should be interesting, I hope.  I will write more later.

Have you seen the lady that bought $560 worth of groceries for $5.6o??!!  All with coupons!  Whatever, I don’t believe it.

A few websites people have told me  they like:  mamahatestocook.com, yardsalemapper.com, groceryiq.com, redlaser, billshrink.com, mint.com, honesty.com, pricespider.com

Last thing, the Kenny Chesney Concert was awesome!

 

Snow, Snow, Snow!

I realize the snow has been hard on some but I have loved it.  First of all, it’s beautiful.  My snowmen turned out to look alittle rough, but overall the snow has been gorgeous.  The interesting part of this has been spending so much time alone.  Now some of you moms with young children are saying, “No wonder I thought it was so great!”  Maybe so.  Anyway, I don’t remember the last time I was so alone for so long.  It’s kind of weird not to be able to go anywhere, or have company because they can’t go anywhere.   The first day I read for hours, really.  Felt kind of guilty but not enough to do anything else.  The next day was more productive for sure.  It was uphill from there.  Aloneness was good for me, I need to purposefully do that  more often.   Forced isolation can be a good thing. 

Sunday’s sermon was so real, on Comparing, I Quit.  He said “ Comparing is the Death of Contentment.”   Isn’t that true?  I talked to my students about it and their take was so interesting.  They agreed and we talked about what they compare and what adults compare.  Their answers were grades, popularity, electronics, phones.  I told them the top two categories for adults were  possessions and looks, not too much different than theirs. They were so surprised about physical appearance  for adults.  Why would we care about that?  We’re old, already set in life, and don’t really need to impress anyone.  Interesting?  My life is pretty content, but sometimes hard not to compare.  The pastor’s answer, simplified, is to know who you are.   Good advice and a good sermon.  I have a class reunion this year and have been invited to 2 others.  Yikes!  I  needed to hear this sermon, hope they heard it, too! 

Ev and Ryan are doing well.   They are going to all the campus activities-basketball, wrestling, etc. and that’s a good thing.  Went recruiting in Florida for a few days and Ev was able to go,too.  Ev will go to California for a short time to play and train for beach.  She will work at her old job while she’s there so that’s good.  

Cori and Mike are busy with the boys.  Mike is taking Scottie skiing for the first time.  He loves the snow!  Cori is running with Bethany in a half marathon in April in Austin, they will have so much fun.  Mike and Cori are finally getting to take a break with a mini vacation with friends to Cancun.  No kids for 4 days!   Remember those days?! 

Great kids.  They have a really good father!

By the way, my daughter blogs and has great recipes. Her blog is listed below. 

Again, midlife is great.

 

Midlife Parenting and Other Random Pieces

 

I just read one of my posts about saying goodbye to my daughter, dated December, 2009.  Well, just said goodbye again.  She and her husband moved to Alabama on Saturday, a good move for them.  We expected them to be here longer than they were but things didn’t work out that way.  I miss her so much already, the phone calls or texts just letting  me know she’s okay helps but doesn’t compare to seeing her sweet face.   She and her husband will be a tremendous blessing wherever they land, that’s just who they are.   I know we raise them to be independent, but sometimes it sure is hard.   So glad we all had Christmas together.  I’m grateful that the appreciation of our time together is so valuable to them as well.  My other daughter lives close by but who knows for how long.  I love each time I walk past their house or they come here, even for a short time.  We know enough to appreciate the ease of this, things change so quickly, too quickly in midlife.   

New Year’s Resolution-Cooking Curry!  My favorite new cooking show is Arti Party.  She makes Indian cooking easy (at least she makes it look easy) and I’m on board.   My first dish is flat bread and sirloin curry ( took me 3 rewinds to figure out she was saying sirloin).  I will let you know. 

Back to School-Rough new semester.  We have had snow days and lots of sickness so it seems we can’t get caught up on anything.   The kids are wild and bored.  I even danced today and they rolled their eyes ( yes, 7th grade, it was you).  We are doing MLA formatting in 8th.  I mean, does it get any more fun than that!!!   I’m grateful my administrator has started making coffee (Starbucks!) in his office and sharing.  My 6th Graders stop by before they come to class to pick some up for me.  Come on, is that training or what!   Hmm, maybe they think I’m nicer when I have coffee.    Nay, I’m nice all the time (right kids?).   We need a field trip!  That is just what we need. The 8th Graders want me to take them to Pops.  I’m having a little trouble fitting it into English curriculum. 

On a serious note, I sure do miss my mom.  I’ve always missed my mother but sometimes it just hurts more than other times.  I have finally realized this emotion is linked to my emotions as a mother.   My daughter moved, my grandson starts school this year (No!!!),  and on and on.   Each high and low makes me long for her.  She has missed so much of my life; I still think of her when I see a mother and daughter at the mall.   I tell my students that sometimes you cannot see the results of a situation until you are on the other side-good and bad results.  Midlife really helps with that.  I’m on the other side of so many decisions and happenings in my life, good and bad.  The pain of her death is tempered by the appreciation and love I have for time with my daughters.  I know how fleeting it can be so I try to savor each visit and conversation.  It has also made me grateful for their independence.  It’s hard not to squeeze them too tightly, but I try not to. 

A big thank you to all my friends for the sweet messages on Saturday.  Ev is doing fine and Ryan has started the new job.  Life continues! 

More later.

 

It’s a New Year! Random thoughts

New beginnings are refreshing.  It feels like a chance to do it better with a new start.  New school years, new semesters, new years, new ages, etc, I like new beginnings.   My second semester starts tomorrow and somehow I don’t think my students see it as a fun new chance to do better!   Hope I can change their minds. 

What a great Christmas break.  I tried to set some new traditions and enjoyed the entire 2 weeks.  It was so nice having my younger daughter and her husband in town this year.  We played games with our adult children and I laughed until I cried.  All four of them are soooo funny, and soooo competitive!  My grandsons had a Star Wars Christmas; after raising girls, this is so much fun.  My new traditions (hopefully) : We began the break by all going to Osaka, really really really fun!  I left something little in the boys stockings each visit, they loved it ( okay, I loved it).  I made 4 or 5 dinners for the girls to take home so they wouldn’t have to cook the next week ( chili, spaghetti, enchiladas -thank you Jeanne, and lasagna).  Scott and I had stockings this year-thank you Cori.   We also made breakfast for dinner on Christmas Eve, Ev’s idea.  Mike perfected the omelet.  I had a day alone with the girls for lunch and shopping, so fun.  So glad I’m writing these down because I won’t remember next year!  Like I said, it was a great break.

You know, I think it’s important to see extended family during Christmas, whether you like them or not.   That sounds really bad but you know what I mean.  We saw both sides of our wonderful (trying to redeem ) families and had great visits.  It’s good to catch up with all the kids of nieces, nephews, etc.  

Resolutions in Midlife

I always make new goals and resolutions and frequently don’t reach them.  This isn’t failure to me, I still had a goal to work toward  (my way of rationalizing).  I’m still exercising ( resolution accomplished) and will continue.  Actually have reached a point of enjoying it.   The other resolutions for this year are still in formation.   The list will come later. 

Grandsons

My grandsons frequently remind me (unknowingly) how to look at life.  They love it.  The boys wake up with smiles, love their parents, and want to do everything!  They spent the night Friday and we made popcorn ball snowmen, ate dinner (mac and cheese) in a fort of blankets over a table,  worked word games, jumped on beds (they did, we didn’t!), watched a movie, and played Star Wars.  Does life get any better than that?  I don’t think so.  They are a constant reminder to me to enjoy where I am. 

Pitfalls in Midlife

I really do love midlife, but it does come with a few pitfalls to battle.  So many of us have  had experiences leaving us cynical and bitter about our path.  I so hope this isn’t me. Life is so often not fair and after awhile, it gets to some of us.  I notice this in alot of us. I want to think the best of people (I frquently don’t) and I want to be appreciative of  here and now, and I feel I am.  I’m going to work on the first one of these this year.  Honestly, selfish or self-centered people really get to me. Also, and I’ve talked about this before, I cried   this year when I left my dad.  I don’t want him to get older.  My parents are still very capable of taking care of themselves, but it still made me think.   So many of my friends are struggling with their parents with such grace.  I hope I can do the same.   

 My prayer this year is I do not want to hear the words divorce or cancer associated with any of my loved ones and friends.  I’m really sick of these two happening so much. 

Blessings

My life is full of blessings.  My children and grandchildren have solid lives and include me in them.  My husband has a job he really likes and he still really likes me!  My job remains a daily joy.  I pray everyday on my way to work that I’m a blessing to someone today, I will continue to do that.   The interesting result of that prayer is the kids are such a blessing to me.

 

Updates on Midlife

It’s been so long since I’ve blogged I had trouble finding my blog!  Anyway, it’s almost summer and I’m so excited!  

School

School is so busy right now;  we’re all trying to tie up loose ends and squeeze in the things we didn’t get to during the year.  Note to self, do poetry earlier.  We just don’t have the time to spend on it like I want.   It honestly has been a super year and went by too quickly.  I won’t have the 8th graders again and it makes me sad.  I’ve had them for three years and during that time get very attached.   They have been writing poetry for their memory books and their poems are truly beautiful.    They will be an outstanding freshman class. 

I feel very proud of our school.  With the economy the way it is and Tulsa Public making layoffs, we are holding our own.   Being a small school has so many advantages and the family atmosphere is so worth it.   If you want a place where teachers truly care about your children and provide a rich learning experience, Wright Christian is for you.  I’m very excited about taking a class this summer in Pre-AP English for middle school, it’s always motivating to get new ideas and learn new ways to teach.   Many of our teachers are taking and have taken continuing education classes to keep ourselves current.  It shows in the teaching.  

Running! 

I’m running!  I never thought and really still don’t think of myself as a runner.  It has been so challenging!  I use quotes daily to motivate my students, encouraging them to try harder, get out of their comfort zone, learn new things, etc., not realizing how long it had been since I had taken the advice I was peddling.  Being at the back of the group and slower than everyone else has been emotional and difficult. Frequently, I asked myself why I was putting myself in this position.  I’m also the oldest in my group.  Each time I thought of quiting and just walking, someone would encourage me at the perfect time.  This young girl, not sure of her name, would come up behind me at the perfect time and say,” Come on, you can do this.  Just a few more minutes.”  I now call her Angel and she knows why.   I guess I should probably learn her real name! 

I’ve been a cheerleader for my daughters for 30 years, now they’re mine.  Their encouragement has been priceless;  I don’t think I would have continued without it.   Thank you, girls.  

Anyway, to accomplish something new has been very rewarding personally.  I’m grateful.  To run around LaFortune without stopping and without dying at the end makes me smile.  I’m slow but getting faster little by little.   You appreciate those little steps in midlife!

Marriage

I’ve met some sweet people in my exercise groups, I belong to two.   The discussion of marriage has come up in both classes, maybe it’s a midlife thing.   My running coach has been married 35 years, my running partner (at the beginning) has been married 34, I’ve been married 33, and my latest  running partner is getting married in June!  My coach told his kids that the only way to get to 35 years is to guard your marriage  with your life, truly with your life.  This statement really stayed with me and made me think about my own marriage.  Our world doesn’t value the longevity of the committment so we have to value it ourselves.  I want what I have for my children and pray daily for their marriages.   One must remove temptations from their lives.  I have a friend getting a divorce, one of many friends that have.  None planned on it not working.  None planned on cheating, one thing led to another. None planned on falling out of love.   A friendship turned into more than a friendship for some. In midlife you can see the dangers, not sure you can in your 20′s and 30′s.  You think you would never cross the line.   My prayer for my kids and their spouses  is a constant awareness to recommit, to keep their lives clean, and believe their marriage relationship is sacred,  forever.  My husband and I never considered an alternative, and I’m so grateful.  There is nothing like a lifelong relationship, so glad I’m at the age to appreciate it. 

Boys

Couldn’t end without mentioning the boys!  Scott is the next David Beckham in soccer (that is the guy’s name isn’t it?) and Nate is close behind.  Both are looking older and are hilarious.  They say the funniest things.  Both are strong and healthy and happy.  Nate is saying all kinds of new words and Scott has his first school program this week.   Cori and Mike are wonderful parents.  ( Actually, they remind us of the couple on Modern Family, really!  Mike also reminds me of the guy on Parenthood, the one that taught his son to dance! Don’t tell them I said this!)  They are fun parents and the love for their children is so evident.  I just love that.

Ev and Ryan are busy, busy, busy.  Evyn made it to the finals in her VB tournament in Florida this week and Ryan went with his team to Spain.  Miss them terribly but glad they are happy and healthy.

 

Completely Random

It seems like life has been crazy, not sure why.  My older daughter’s best friend has experienced a hurt I can’t even imagine and I can’t stop thinking about her.   I know-with God’s help-she will be fine but I continue to cry and pray for her loss.   My hope is she feels my love and prayers.

My parents called recently to tell me my mother is forgetting things and she is aware of it.  We noticed it some time ago but I’m glad she realizes it.  It still scares me though. 

School has been weird with all the snow days.  The kids (and teachers) can’t quite get in “the groove”.   Grades are low and progress is slow-ready for sun and spring. 

My New Year Resolutions are in action, at least some are.  We are visiting CityChurch regularly and really like it.  I have a few questions but so far so good.   I am writing at least one letter each Sunday, mainly to my younger daughter.  Handwritten notes are so special I think.  Maybe if I write a few I will receive a few. I have been walking and my new walk/run group starts tonight.We are going to freeze but I’m still going.   I saw an old friend last week and she commented on how I looked like I had lost weight!  She’s my new best friend.   The cooking is going okay, nothing very creative though.  “Baby steps, Baby steps!”

I love Valentine’s Day!  How do you not?  Nothing bad, all good.  Love the hearts, the red, the notes, the whole idea.  Best holiday. 

Midlife reality- I need an eye and neck lift!  Is there such a thing as a neck lift?   My neck is starting to look like rings on an old tree!  They just appear overnight!   Actually, I think it’s this new make-up mirror my husband got me, toooooo clear!

Midlife reality-This week was my bone density test, who knew there was one!  They just run this machine over you and it gauges the quality of your bones; my bones are great by the way.  Each year, a new test. 

Midlife reality- The kids at school were complaining about the old guys playing at the Super Bowl halftime.  They thought they must be at least 70!   I have to say, they seemed old to me, too.  I hope they’re older than me!

Tacky reality-I’m sick of Marie Osmond.  She needs to take her shag hairdo and her botoxed upper lip and move on.  She’s on everything.  Enough!  She won an award for one of  her collectible dolls-who cares!!!

Embarrassments- My husband and I saw “Crazy Hearts” this weekend.   It was at Promenade and their seats are so weird; they kind of lay back almost too much.  Everyone in the theatre was our age and this man sat in front of me and almost fell out of his chair. I literally could not stop laughing.  I’m laughing now as I tell it!  I had tears streaming down my face and Scott was glaring at me to be quiet.  I’m embarrassed to say they moved.   It was so hilarious, better than the movie.

Embarrassments-My husband and I went  to Homecoming at my school.  The attendants entered and looked beautiful.  The out-going Queen entered to crown the new Queen.  Scott says, too loudly, “Is she pregnant?”  Students sitting all around us!   I died and glared at him.   I guess we were even for the day! 

In the midst of this crazy month, I have noticed a few things I love.  The snow really has been beautiful, especially today.  English-as-a-second-language people always say,”You’re welcome.”  No matter how many times you say thank you, they say you’re welcome.  I love that.   My middle school boys won their basketball championship!  I love that.  Two old friends and special people have connected with me on facebook-I’m so glad.   My younger grandson says “Mimi” now.  Anyone would love that!   My husband calls me when he reaches Denver to tell me he misses me already-I love that.

 

Being sick is good.

I’ve had strep since Saturday.  I left the house yesterday for the first time and went back to work and everything felt alittle off.  The kids were great but  I had no voice so my students did most of the talking.  I want their parents because they got better stuff than I did for Christmas!  My grandsons have forgotten what I look like because I haven’t seen them in a week, I’m sure of it.  Cori invited me over today but I still have a cold in my eyes and it’s hard with little ones not to touch and spread the germs.  I would feel terrible if the kids got sick because of me.   When you’re homebound and not feeling well, it’s so unproductive.   I was almost depressed today,  yes, I’m whining.  Evyn called from Redondo Beach and it was sunny and hot!  Scott and I need a Carribean Vacation, and soon.  Yea, I could plan one for springbreak.  I think I need to look into that.

The good part of being sick, and homebound, is feeling better and getting out.  I went in negative wind chill for a diet coke at sonic!  Honestly, I really do feel better.   People need fresh air, sunshine, and other people!  Seriously.  It sure makes one appreciative of all of the above.   I always feel healthy and this setback has been good for my appreciation meter.  Yup, the good part of being  sick is getting well.